Transform Shame Into Self-Expression

Shame is a toxic and debilitating emotion that saps our self-expression in business and social situations. It makes us feel belittled and disconnected from those around us.

This 30-minute guided meditation will show you how to release old feelings of shame while discovering authentic self-expression.

The process works in four stages:

  1. Connect with your body-felt sensations of shame
  2. Develop self-compassion to heal and release the shame
  3. Connect with your true values and beliefs
  4. Transform your behaviors from being controlled by shame to being guided by your true beliefs and values

As a result, you’ll be a better person and you’ll experience more freedom in life.

Here’s the guided meditation for you. It takes about 30 minutes and will change your reality. Enjoy.

You can add the guided meditation to your iTunes library by subscribing to my podcast channel on iTunes.

You can read more about how shame gets trapped in the body here and you can read about my own personal experience using this guided meditation here.

You can take your self-expression to a whole new level, as Liz did when she transformed her shame.

I had all kinds of negative ideas about sex that I picked up during my childhood and they kept running through my mind every time I was with someone… Transforming shame brought me to a whole new level of self-expression that is not just limited to sexuality, but carries over into every aspect of my life.

- Liz

 

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Comments

  1. Having just concluded this meditation, I’m still rumbling. I feel like I have been in contact with some ancient, wordless, unspeakable snake wrapped around all of my cores…squeezing and pulling down into the dark. And in it’s release, this leviathan looks skyward, doe-eyed in it’s age, marveling at the vast expanse it can finally see.

  2. I am scared shitless to do this one. Not only have I been riddled with shame about my sexuality my entire life, I’ve worked so hard to quarenteen that feeling from anyone and everyone… I feel like I would explode if I didn’t have shame. Shame has driven me for so long. The piece of me that’s adamantly ready to shed this is squashed, and boxed in, and tiny… but I would rather follow her around for her clear-heartedness, so here goes…

    • Bon courage Andrea! I can relate to being scared shitless. Before the shame is transformed, life without it is just unimaginable. From my own recent experiences now that it’s gone it’s hard to imagine why I held onto it for so long, and it’s even more incomprehensible why I boxed in my life by it for so long.

    • Whew! I also feel like I just cleaned out my insides. At 20 minutes in, I was sure I was almost done, I felt like so much had already happened. I shifted to my bed and started swinging my legs and hips over my spine, feeling my front ribs pop a little on the right side! Yes, that felt like a form of freedom. Kept cracking and stretching. Fell asleep immediately at the end. Ready to fall back asleep now :)

      Another good one, Mark

      • Cool! I’ll be curious to hear how it feels when you get back out into the real world with this. :)

        • That one sitting cracked the door open, but we’re talking about one rib in a core full of these bulbous shame pustules. (Not to be riotously gross, but it really looks like that! There’s a lot of dead weight in there.)

          I could do this one once a week for ten weeks. In fact, I might do just that. Let me know if you want me to post the updates :)

          • A bunch of people (including me) have found that doing the same guided meditation repeatedly for topics that are particularly ‘rich’ is life-changing.

            I’m sure that as you work through clearing your inventory of ‘shame pustules’ the result will be transformative.

            Yes, please do post comments when anything particularly interesting happens, and/or when you reach new plateaus of ‘cleanliness’ and free self-expression.

  3. Hi there, I found your site thanks to Mark Manson.

    I find it amazing that you offer so much for free.

    Also i dont understand why nobody else are doing emotional healing in this way, the only thing that vaguely reminds me of this is focusing.

    May i ask where you discovered this?

    Thanks for sharing tools like these :)

    Regards from Denmark

  4. Hi Allan,

    Welcome!

    I studied a bunch of different disciplines over the years. The more different perspectives I got, the more it made sense to take an integrated approach that encompassed the conscious mind, unconscious brain and body-centered wisdom.

    More recently with the guided meditations on the blog, I’ve found that recorded meditations usually have more impact than in-person sessions, because they are always available and we can use the same meditations over and over again working on different triggers. I’ve taken three plane trips in the last two weeks and have used one of the guided meditations on each trip. Transformation in the sky. :)

    Glad you’re finding it valuable!

    Mark

  5. I feel as though i have a complex body of shame mixed with deep saddness and regret plus anger and self-doubt. This meditation is really helpful in ways that fascinate me because never has healing felt so clean and authentic in its rewards. I have Three questions:
    1. When I do the transforming shame meditation, I often can’t come up with words or images for what comes up. It’s more like physical pain and a sensation of calmness. How often can I do these meditations and get the most benefit? Once a week? Every evening? What’s your recommendation?

    2. I often drift off in my mind during the meditations and have slept through the end of them? Why does my body shut down and go to sleep? Does my sleep affect the healing capacity of the meditation.

    3. Should I work on the issues that come up in that day’s meditation? Or be more deliberate with which parts of my body?

  6. Hi Andrea,

    For sadness that comes up, you can use the meditation in How To Release Sadness And Grief. For regret you can try How To Transform Disappointment Into Appreciation.

    To answer your specific questions:

    1. Not having words or images is fine. Having the physical sensations is most important, and those will lead to the deepest transformations. I don’t have a set recommendation for how often you should use the guided meditations. I’d trust your own intuition on that more than anything else. You don’t need to worry about losing impact by doing them too often. Using them frequently you might get less out of each session, but more in total from the repetitions, so there’s nothing to worry about there. The only caution is that you don’t want to have more to process after a lot of meditations than you can accommodate in your daily life. I find that after really deep changes I have less mental focus and energy for a couple of days, so be aware that you may need to manage frequency for that reason.

    2. I’ve used the Transform Shame meditation both fully consciously awake and when I drifted off during it. I wouldn’t think of it as your body shutting down, but rather not needing to be mentally aware of what’s going on. As you know from the Abandonment to Abundance Program, deep changes can happen without our remembering what happened. The only downside to drifting off is that you won’t know what the changes were! ;)

    3. Could you clarify your question – I wasn’t sure what you meant here.

  7. Hi, thank you , I have been fighting with shame for years, so deeply rooted and overwhelming, I wrote a poem about shame and how it can affect your identity, now I am working on a painting trying to transform the shame into something more positive. With your meditation I feel I can remove it like you peel a onion , layer after layer and there is so much to remove.

    • You’re very welcome Patti. With that approach, I am sure you will succeed in peeling the layers – probably much faster than you anticipate. I’d be curious to see your painting when you’re done.

      Mark

      • Thank you , I will send you a picture of my painting once finished. I have been looking over the net for some time trying to find interresting sites on shame and I was surprised to notice that most of them come from the states. I found yours and Peter Gerlach “Break the cycle” most interresting. I have this feeling that shame is like a cement that binds everything together. It affects the individual and the community. I think that if there is still much to learn about humor it’s because there is still so much to learn about shame.